If only life is so simple

Next proj

2008-09-29T20:19:00.002+08:00

My next proj will be 未来不是梦.
Everyone guessed as much, me also hoping, and it came true.
AP xiaobai and 导演lai ling.
Omg can't imagine working with lai ling. Gona have a hard time man. Perhaps even worse then guang rong.
But abit glad that my round is the round going japan. Means I can help out with all preparations. Better still if i can get to go! *Pray*
Fix crew is uncle lim! yay i like uncle lim. kinda miss him haha
Had a small talk with christina just now. Wow big cast. I guess its considered a 大制作. So many 主景! And 1 of it is a yacht! Omg. Something new and exciting!
Its going to be a tough show. Tougher than 不凡的爱. I'm going to be mentally prepared, and go on with a positive attitude. To learn see and experience new things.

不凡的爱

2008-09-26T14:22:00.003+08:00

The show is finally finish. (!)
Though I just joined in halfway, working with artistes, producer and assistant producer have been great. The 4 main cast: zoe, hanwei, rui en and elvin, are nice people. Esp rui en and elvin. Maybe because zoe and hanwei are like ah ge ah jie tats why didnt mix with us much. But they are still nice!
There was once in studio hanwei packed dinner for all. I didnt know he included me too, when I came back from toilet, they are already eating and asked me to join in where my pack of rice was already there. We had zi cha, a table of artistes producer assistant producer and me, so 温馨.
Zoe...not bad la, always got tidbits haha. On our last day, she bought a jap drink for me, say its v gd for health.
Rui en...she's the nicest princess! Very real. I duno how to describe her, she's just a vv nice person. I like her. Cos she and elvin are the main cast, we went through alot (hardships) together. eg going to a hot and wulu part of ubin, a deep forested pit in a wulu part of s'pore.
Elvin. When I 1st saw him a wardrobe, when I was still a newbie, I didnt think much abt him. A ordinary guy. But when I worked with him in this proj, I find him more and more charming. Like him not like pinghui type of feeling just idolise, its those...really like him le hahahaha. We grew closer also la, exchanged numbers, small talk, I sat his car to our 庆功宴. His new white benz! Did you read it in iweekly? Anyway it was cool haha.
Ok tats all for the show 不凡的爱. Will know my new show on mon. Pray. Hope can get the show with rui en and elvin again. With bonus cast-pinghui hahaha.

A petty heart

2008-09-16T23:56:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry I still unable to forgive and forget.
I have not gotten over it.
Just let me keep on dwelling on it.
Forget abt contacting me.
I'm slowly adapting and getting used to it.
The hurt, and scar, are already there.

Mixed feelings

2008-09-07T21:27:00.004+08:00

2 things.

I'm so guilty. But there's nothing I can do. He also seem to ignore me already. But all the while I call them this, he call me that too. How I know he got gf le. If I knew I wouldnt even msg him. You know me, i dont stick to ppl who have gf 1. eg joe.

Then, I just ned to talk to someone abt this. Its disturbing me big time. And the mutual person, is UNCONTACTABLE.

3 times. I msg. Call. And msg again.

If you are busy at that time, i can understand. But after 3 attempts, from noon till night, still no response. Can anybody tell me why. Whatever excuse I can accept, is only if she forgot to bring her hp out.

1 msg, you may have no time to reply. The missed call. Usually if a person decided to call instead of sms, its of more importance right? and for the 2nd time you saw this person name appear, even if its not smthg damn urgent, you will also sense that the person wants to get in touch with you right?

The person msg again. I mean, normally you would reply right? Tell me under what circumstances you wont reply, ie you dont like the person? Yes, by your actions you are telling me this.

And to think I still bought you a bag when I go shopping just now. The 1st person I thought of is you. However I start to think a few minutes later. Why am I doing this. Is it worth it. I dont feel appreciated at all, then why I still treat you nice.

I dont know. And I dont know if I should still continue to get in contact with you. Even if I did, I think you will also think my actions are wrong. But whats done is done.

The bottomline. I'm still a 罪人.

Olympics table tennis - Li Jiawei vs Zhang Yining

2008-08-22T12:05:00.002+08:00

Olympics table tennis - Li Jiawei vs Zhang Yining

1st time i watch table tennis match.
I never like this sport, but admire the players cos I feel its a tough sport to master.
And it goes pick pock pick pock pick pock.
Only interesting part is when the ball drops then we'll (or i'll) go 'hai!'
And the match continues. Pick pock pick pock pick pock. And the match finishes in a few minutes.

Back to Li Jiawei & Zhang Yining.

The match just now, was close. Actually half the balls that Li Jiawei lost was due to the ball didnt cross over, which i thought shouldnt have happen so many times. Why her angle had been wrong. Its very wasted. If not for these balls, she could have won.

Its a pity. Her skills are unquestionable, its the balls that hit the net.

So in the early nineties, Li Jiawei & Zhang Yining were schoolmates in Beijing sports school.

How does it feel to compete vigorously with someone who were once in the same boat?

Him

2008-08-18T20:12:00.002+08:00

Wow so long since i last blog. Wonder if there's anyone still reading.
The last entry was about him.
This entry is about him again.
Whenever I think of him, this is my only source that I can let out.
Cos no one for me to talk it out.
Anyway, i STILL realised i'm STILL thinking of him.
Though i've seen the ugly side of him.
Wat can i do ar.
The feeling of keep thinking abt someone helplessly is terrible.

Syafiq

2008-05-23T22:42:00.001+08:00

He wore specs today.
As handsome. More handsome.
Though we didnt talk even when we met.
Still. =)

Shouts

2008-05-23T10:36:00.002+08:00

SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winnie Chai Jia Xuan want to go back to the past!!!!!

Can she do it?

No she cant.

Why so no confidence?

Cos she know she wont be able to do it.

She's dying. Dying to return to what she was. Where's her perseverance? Can she get it back?

We shall see till her birthday. The maximum.

2008-05-18T22:14:00.002+08:00

Why so not accurate 1?!?!

The only that's true are - 'Loves those who loves them' & 'emotional and temperamental'.

I only I am what the above describe lor.

Disappointing night

2008-05-16T01:16:00.002+08:00

Its a disappointing night.
Had a small talk but good enough to get to know a person.
Whats the feeling like when you found out a person is not like wat you expected/expecting him to be?
Terrible. Totally sucks.
Then, it'll keep on lingering in your mind. Why. Why. Why.
The next worry- will it be awkward?
Yes, i do feel it. But she say then it'll be too shallow.
Yes i agree.
So shallow/not shallow? We shall see.
Disappointing night, disappointing person, disappointing talk.

bored so I blog

2008-05-06T12:27:00.003+08:00

I'm so bored. So I shall blog haha.

Randoms. Alot of things happen since the time I last blog. I'll post what I remember lor.

As I tried to recall, this incident came to my mind.

Some day in the studio, when we were about to finish filming the scene, I just found out terence wore the wrong tie! I told his pa, she said I confirmed with her tats the tie but actually I just checked the shirt and not the tie. We were scared out of our wits. We zhan zhan jing jing told terence and the fm. The other artistes were kind enough not to blame us, and they were nice to film all over again. Terence chided us, starred at us. I'm so scared la! His angry look really v scary ok. I know its my fault to realized so late so I apologized to dao yan in front of everyone immediately he came down.

Surprisingly, just the next scene, terence recovered already. This was smthg quite rare. Even joked with me. Guess he's in good mood that day. During dinner still treat me biscuits. Heh.

Ok end of the whole incident.

Terence again. Recently closer to him ar haha. Tat day wana buy dinner for him, so many specifications. He jian fei! Omg. I just told him he so skinny le, he say its the 'in' thing now. -_-

This sat I'm going to his restaurant to eat! Yesterday told him help me reserve table for 5 le hehe.

Think.....Think......

Oh. That day I went with Joey to help collect cake for Fann. We went to 2 hotels, the cakes all soooooo nice! And the price vvvvvvvvvvv reasonable lor. Next time I wana buy sure go there. The durian cakes soooooooo tempting! I met the head chef, wah he can make sooooo many special cakes. 3D princess or watever object/shape/taste also can choose! I also want...............

Then we went to Fann residence pass to her, but she neva come down...

Think...Think....

Ok. Syafiq. So long I never talk to him. Aye. I duno what he want me to do la. Heck.

Love and hate 2

2008-04-16T22:11:00.002+08:00

Today is the 5th day I'm sick.

Yesterday was the worst. I sobbed like crazy. Cos I was so sick.
Fever still at 39.5. Then I had this terrible horrible headache that I never had and I guess you would never have experienced. Its like a time bomb, and I wished it would explode so I would feel better. Its so painful until I cant even open my eyes, cant eat, can only cry.
Then at night, its so strange. My whole body suddenly feel numb, can feel the limbs no energy, its so horrible, and i just let it shiver to ease the strange feeling.

Today, head still heavy, still alittle dizzy, nose still terribly block, still bad cough.

Fen still had not ask abt me till now. I tot of another scenario: She doesnt even see the need to ask? Omg. Nvm. I think she tot I'm ok liao.

Love and hate

2008-04-14T23:28:00.003+08:00

Ok this entry is about love and hate.
And it has to be my 100th post. Sway or wat.

Today is the 3rd day I am sick. Yesterday fever reached a high 40 at nite. Mum had to stay by my side to help me change the ice towel on my forehead very min. I closed my eyes, having no feeling at all, i think i'll have gone anytime. Haha.

This morning still at 39.5. Then began to sweat at noon. Even the sweating is a tough process. I can feel the sweat forcing its way out, and i was feeling naseuous and dizzy.

Now, left with cough, a terrible sore throat and a blocked nose. :s

Ok its not hate, but i can't another word to replace it. Ppl say the more you expect, the more disappointed you'll get. Ok maybe I expected (fen to msg me today to ask me am I better), but she didn't. And so I am disappointed. I am finding alot of excuses, maybe she's busy; maybe she has reports to do. But I can't accept these. If you really care abt this friend, i guess you'll just take a few moments to care. Journey to and fro work and hm? Lunch time? The worst scenario is she forgot. And just now she was online, and just offline w/o saying anything.

If it was during my poly days, and the friends saw this, they'll definitely pick up a quarrel again. Say I can't expect so many things from friends blah blah. But i guess fen is different. She's my only best and close friend, like she has become part of my life. And now she doesnt care. Maybe again, she'll msg tmr. But i duno if i still feel the care by then.

Bf. It was expectation again. In the beginning. Of course I realised I'm always expecting things from ppl. Its gd I know my faults right. (But fen issue I just cant let it go). And so, I'm slowing letting go of him. Its just impossible. May he be erase from my mind soon.

P/s: Tears are swelling up in my eyes as I re-read the post.

A very touching story

2008-04-10T12:59:00.005+08:00

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After
extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: 'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?'The audience was stilled by the query.The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!' Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!' Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'!

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!' As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!' Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day.

Updates

2008-04-04T08:35:00.003+08:00

Wow so long didnt blog.

1 month. Actually not tat long right, just felt its very long since I log in and even open up on blog page.

I don't know how many of you are still reading, mum say don't blog about work stuff. But I only have work stuff to blog about ar, tats why the long disappearance.

But now, I think its ok to say la, don't think alot of ppl are reading liao, I'll just treat here as my diary. Those who still come here are those who still care. =)

Now doesn't have any point I wana add pertaining to work. I'll just upload some pics I've taken lor. Still got some pics I havent upload to my com, will upload here when done.

A special cny 2008

2008-02-09T21:40:00.000+08:00

As what Sherlynn has said, this yr is a different/special cny because we received ang bao from artistes. Haha.
Darren.
Ben.
May.
Thanks! They have been really nice. Ben drove me to mrt today. Nice car interior. So cosy.
Since I've already took the effort to blog, I might as well pen down abit more. Though mum say cannot!
I saw Tay Ping Hui today for the 2nd time! Omg. He's dashing la. I just like him alot.
And Jeanette Aw. Pretty. Nice smile. But abit skinny.
Then Alvin Ng! Sorry abit excited cos din expect to bump into him. Very friendly. Quite good looking too.
Well, that's all for today chu san working day. Hope everything will go smoothly for the yr.

At a different note, I'm still pessimistic, abt myself, and the world. I still hate myself. I still wana be gone with the wind. I'm still like what I am last yr. I'm hopeless. I've got no friends. This is my world. This is how the world goes.

Useless

2008-01-22T11:23:00.000+08:00

I'm totally useless.
Useless.
Useless.
Useless.
Just can't do anything right, can't accomplish anything.
Another reason to add to my list of hating myself.

Sweet words

2008-01-08T10:10:00.001+08:00

Fen gave me a bookmark some time ago. I really love the words and I'm grateful for being loved like this. I shall pen it down.
The title: You are a friend of mine
You are beautiful my friend.
You know and accept me as I am - all of me, and I love you for that.
You have made me happy to be me, and I love life more because of you.

I can be myself with you and am very happy in knowing that we experience much of the same sensitivity to the world around us.
You always express how you feel to me, and so, I never afraid to do the same.
The meaning of our friendship is found in the joy celebrating it.

You will forever be part of me now for our souls have reached out and gently touched one another.
I will always love you, throughout my life, for you are a friend of mine.

*Take a breath* WOW. Why is there such a bookmark on the shelf. Its like specially pen for us. The words exactly described the amazing friendship that me and fen shared. I'm grateful for such a friend and I love her very much.

****************************************************************************
Yesterday my manager sent me a msg.
'Hi Winnie, really looking forward to work closely with you. Our goal is to groom you to be a top producer this year'.
Shocked! Stunned! Speechless. Dazed awhile while looking at the msg.
Wah. Why me. There are so many outstanding ones in my batch, already closing deals adding to 30+K.
I guess maybe I'm still stuck here, so they need to give me a push.
Anyway, I'm also looking forward to work with them. They have officially invite me to join their team. So I'm no longer a lone worker.
They gave me work to do, guide me how to do. I'll work hard. I met the 1st gui ren this year. =)

2008!

2008-01-01T11:47:00.000+08:00

Yea its the 1st day of 2008! (also duno why so excited la. Cos everyone like so high about beginning of a new yr so I oso high lor)
I shan't talk about resolutions first. Partly becos its always just SAY, in d end oso neva achieve anything. I wana talk about yesterday countdown!
It was really fun. I went to see the fireworks, and I tell you its really nice. Cannot compare with national day tat kind. So I reckon that once a yr, its ok to just go squeeze with the people, its for d atmosphere.
But then, indians are everywhere! Everywhere! They created havoc, purposely. And made lotsa noise, for the fun of it. Its really stupid, and they acted like they never seen fireworks before. And I tell you, I squeeze until I wana vomit from people sweaty smell + indian smell. *yuke*
After that, I went to watch I am Legend! Nice. I thought I would be tired, but no. Throughout I was so jing shen haha.
Ok, so who did I went out with yesterday? Wei ming, haha. 1 thing I must say, he's really a gentleman. From the moment we stepped into esplanade, he had his arms around me to make sure I wasn't being touched or pushed. I think his arms also quite tired in that position la. And when people pushed, its his arms that suffer.
He was so tired and slpy, but didnt give those 'yao si' look. He helped us to hail cab before he went back. And he really go all the way out to hail, stepped into the road in case those cabby didn't see us. Which I think, the attitude is like going all the way out to get smthg done.
Throughout that 9hrs, we chatted alot. Found out we had quite some things which are alike. He's a really nice guy yes. And with a very good sense of direction.

Panicky day

2007-12-28T22:46:00.000+08:00

Whew. Today is a panicky day. Whole day mind is full of thoughts.
Actually its good. I rather everyday like this. But my 'weak' heart can't take it for very long. Haha.

The buyer for Joo Seng Warehouse called, and asked for some things.
1st, 'scolded' by the owner.
Then have to call management office, NEA - which refer me to ACRA - which refer me to URA - which then refer me back to NEA. Made alot of calls in the morning la. Until luan.
But up till now, still pending. Cos can't reach anyone lor. And they are government offices. Quite disappointed ler. Think quite impossible to close this deal.

Then, finally a call for today advertisement. Times are bad ar.
Serious buyer, served him for viewing.
Stressed! Panic! Scared!
Wah. Cos 1st time mah. And things are not perfectly smooth but still ok, thanks to nice buyer. =)

1 nice thing that happened today.
Mum called my hp in the morning.
"Darling, you at home? What you doing? Wish you have a nice day ok."
That's the sweetest lor. Don't you think?

christmas 2007

2007-12-25T08:48:00.000+08:00

Hmm. Hai. (what a way to start a entry haha)
I believed everyone had a merry christmas.
How you spent your christmas?
Me only went to Janice house, and being the only guest.
It was good la. Went home at 9pm, slept at 11.30pm.
No countdown to christmas ler.
While I was lying on my bed, I was thinking about the people still out there in the still young night, making merry.
And I was in bed.
I don't know whether I'm not the sort who enjoy crowds or I don't have the chance to be out there like them.
Somehow, wished I was having fun.

Ok anyway, received a present from Ser yesterday. So sweet of her!!!!!!!!!!
Ya lor, chocolates with watson wrapper. Then Janice gave me a present with watson wrapper. I guess as much. Its the same brand of chocolate.
Thats all for my christmas presents. Watson, chocolates. Nothing that I use/fancy.

nil

2007-12-23T23:05:00.000+08:00

Ok time to blog.
Those who have been in constant contact with me must have knew that I have been sick for 8 days.
1st time sick big time. Terrible.

Ok this month agent night.
Not as good as I thought it would be.
Somehow, I felt sherry's attitude towards me have changed. I don't know what caused it or what have I done to make them think that I am not doing work.
It disturbed me very much, and I kept thinking.
Finally today, I sorted out. I do not have to mind about them, UNLESS they really care about me whether I'm making money, or else they are just concern whether they will be earning money from me.
I do not want to be affected by them, whether i feel like working anot, it's my choice right. Why do I have to feel tied down by others.
Anyway, after thinking and thinking, I don't think I've done or said anything wrong to them. Really. So I really don't know why their change in attitude.

Another thing. Can't blame me for not wanting to face everyone. Cos the reality have proven. Not because I thought it would be.
1st case, terry seem to have stayed away from me, after that meet up. Maybe I'm not what I am last time in appearance, and I look ugly now. So..i'm no longer his beloved.
Bro also lost contact. I don't know why. Strange. Stupid.
Jimmy they all, also like no more news. I am really no longer what I am.
So..forgive me for not wanting to meet you, the kind old friends.
I just cannot do it. I don't want to face the cruel reality.
I still wana hide in my shell.
Unless someone can prove to me ppl will still love me after they have seen me.

1st christmas present 2007

2007-12-19T08:26:00.000+08:00

Yea received my 1st christmas present!
So happy!
I love d present hee.
Thanks dasmond!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hateful me

2007-12-12T23:32:00.000+08:00

Everyone seem to hate me ler. Or maybe dun like me.
Why ar. I so hateful?

Msg aunty julie - no reply
Msg terry - word-by-word reply
Msg xiexing - no reply
Msg bro - no reply
Call sherry also no ans. Never call back too.
Even my own cousin, feel sian to talk to me.

Why everyone treat me like tat. I too irritating izzit.
Then I shall not bother anyone lor.

Low EQ

2007-12-12T19:38:00.000+08:00

Can PEOPLE be trusted?
The world is not as beautiful as I thought it is.
And I hate it.
Can't there be just nice people around.

Today is a totally damn rotten day with a shitty mood.
Roland did not keep his word. Am disappointed and angry with him.
I did not go for trainings.
Just damn la.
And so I binged. Alot. Until I wana vomit.

And so I disturbed terry too. So sorry. I must be very irritating.
That's me lor. Can be very hateful sometimes. Talk nonsense.

1st unfortunate case

2007-12-09T23:02:00.000+08:00

1st unfortuante case
I spent more than $5 to arrive to marsiling on time. (becos of the big rain I had to resort to this)
At 12.10pm,
I msg her, 'I reached'.
She replied, 'Another 5 mins. Sorry.'
Wait and Wait.
At 12.20pm,
I msg her, 'Are you reaching?'
She replied, 'Another 3 mins. Sorry.'
....................................................................................................

Anyway, so she reached. We walked over to the block.
Just 1 more blk away.............................a call came.
Agent: 'Hi winnie, sorry just now someone just placed a deposit. Sorry ah.'
Me: 'HUH!!!!!! I'M ALREADY ON MY WAY.'
Agent: 'Sorry, but I got another unit in tiong bahru for rent. You see you have tenant anot.' (dun have la)
Can you understand how I felt at that point of time?????????
And so we turned and walked back to the stn.
Just let me !@#$%^&**&^%$#@!

1st deal experience - lesson learning

2007-12-04T23:08:00.001+08:00

THERE GOES MY 1.6 MILLION DEAL.

p/s: yes. please whack myself.

Sitex 2007

2007-12-01T00:33:00.000+08:00

Had a short 1st time talk with Kevin, a new personal trainer I just made friend with.
Nice guy! He also encouraged me. At that point in time, I suddenly felt so fortunate to have so many nice people around me. hehe. =)
beside the point, kevin is good looking haha. =p

Everyone seem to think that I'm very free!!!
OMG. This is bad man.
My goal from monday onwards is to get busy everyday!
Be motivated! Don't be afraid! Just do it! On the gear! GO!

Went sitex fair today alone lor. See I got no friends. =(
Asked so many people until I oso tired.
Thanks guang for his valuable feedback. He helped me lotsa again.
So I'm going to get the new lappy tmr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so many loves - 3rd party

2007-11-23T01:19:00.000+08:00

I'm such a horrible gal.
Nelson, Terry.
Omg. Please help me out.
Anyone? Perhaps a Mr Right?

p/s: The people are just so damn nice that I won't leave. I'm staying put. Just for them. Pls let me belong here.

Funny street names

2007-11-19T07:57:00.000+08:00

I thought I wana pen down this hilarious conversation. So I can still laugh whenever I read back.

Me: Hey chee keong, the address is 6 lorong ong lai. (actually didnt find anything funny about this street name la. although I know ong lai is pineapple.)
After talking for a few minutes..
Chee keong: Ok I confirm lorong ong lai beside lorong durian 1 la?
Me: LAUGH and LAUGH and LAUGH! (I thought he trying to be funny)
Chee Keong: No! Really got lorong durian! Beside lorong ong lai. Got lorong lychee also!
Me: Still LAUGHING and LAUGHING. Can't stop LAUGHING. Got rambutan?
Chee keong: Er don't have lorong rambutan. Got jalan rambutan.
Me: LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH.
I laugh until chee keong also can't help but laugh with me. Really funny la. I don't know got such street names. Laugh until tears came out. I forgot to ask got lorong papaya?

April sem 2006 director's list

2007-11-13T22:07:00.000+08:00

Wah. After so long they sent mi my april semester 2006 Director's List certificate.
They said it was presented after I left.
Nonetheless still glad I got it.
I've managed to be in the director's list since my 1st year except for 2nd semester 2006 when my health deterioated.
So my certificate collection had 1 sem missing.
Nvm. If I ever returned to school again, I'll strive to be back in the director list for my 3rd year.

Secrets of top producers forum

2007-11-13T00:05:00.000+08:00

Yay. Received my present from guang. So beautiful la! I simply love it. Looks expensive ler. Is it, guang? Anyway its hanging in its rightful place now haha. Thanks guang! =D

Today is SECRETS OF TOP PRODUCERS FORUM!!!
Fantastic. Learnt alot of things again.
1 of them seem to be the 'leader'. Cos always the 1 talking. And so he was named the 'Datuk'.
His story:
He closed a 3.6 million deal even before he finish the trainee course. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
He's a new agent ok. Been in this line only 1.5 years. And he had closed properties summing up to 650 million in total.
Now, he only serve overseas buyers. Help them invest on properties here.
His monthly gross commission is 450k.
Er. We all just look upon him as 'God' like that la.
They told us: The shortcut way to become a millionaire is through real estate.

Fat

2007-11-11T00:21:00.000+08:00

Wanted to blog about how wonderful tonight is.
Then my excited feelings are just overtaken taken by this crap feeling. Again.

I'M A BIG FAT ASS.

Blog blog blog

2007-11-09T23:45:00.000+08:00

Blog blog blog! Ok just some random updates. Nothing specific I wana talk abt.

1 Went to sis house party. Brought pearlyn along. Had a nice catch up. She hasn't changed. =)
Sis didn't change too! Still as pretty as ever. Loves.

2 Feel quite helpless now. Flyers not done. Seem like can't do anything. I just don't like the idea of calling. And so lazy to do CMA for roadshows. Argh!! BISH.

3 Felt bro still treating mi quite coldly. I don't like it.

4 Sherry, martin and nelson is back. Everything seem back on track with them around.

5 Oh NANS class is really good. I listened until no time to feel sleepy haha. We formed our team. I'm the secretary. Roland been nice so far. Hope he doesn't change. =p

6 1 last thing v impt. I spent alot of money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And some of it is like really throwing away the money. Shit.

New NRIC!

2007-11-06T23:36:00.000+08:00

Yea! Finally got my IC done!!
My new name is....................................
CHAI JIA XUAN WINNIE!!!!!!!!!!
Happy. =D

updates

2007-11-04T23:15:00.001+08:00

Wah I took sooooooooo long to upload the pics below.
Finally have some time to blog.

The far east tour. (did I mention in previous posts? hmm)
Eh very eye opener lo. Esp the price.
Below is 1 of the units I loved most.
I think might have some things I wana say at that point of time, now I forgot liao ha. =p

****

Yesterday went 1st round of viewing tours with bro and his mum.
Wah, 1st time experience. Got to meet the famous Elaine Lee.
Bro say huan dao zui zui zui. Haha really seems like. Rows of cars travelling together.
Today we went again. When we saw Elaine again, wow, thirty people viewing a unit.
Look at her business. Her circle of clients. Only on a sun. Can you imagine how much she earned?? Esp she served sellers. 2% commission.
Anyway, viewing house can be tiring ler. Though nice to look at ppl houses. Mostly very nicely done up.
Feel my house like shit compare to them haha.

continue

2007-11-04T22:40:00.001+08:00

Far east house

2007-11-04T22:33:00.000+08:00

Ok above is only 1 house ar.

DAMN big.

Leonie Condotel.

Monthly rental 17K.

Any takers?

birthday presents

2007-11-02T08:44:00.000+08:00

Talking abt birthday present...this year only received 2 presents - a pair of earrings from fen and the one from guang.
Since this is my blog, let me be truthful k.
Frankly, I'm abit sad. The number of presents.
And no celebration. No candles to blow.
Call me a typical little girl. I want a typical birthday.
Yet this year I spent it alone, cut and ate a cake myself.
Ok, at least nelson bring mi go eat beancurd and sent mi home lo.
Still not so bad? hmm.

Nice things

2007-11-01T23:38:00.000+08:00

I got myself a lovely bracelet today.
I SIMPLY LOVE IT!!
And my namecard + card holder. Loves~

Difference b/w girls and women

2007-10-27T23:10:00.000+08:00

Difference b/w girls and women

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come home.
Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man's time ( i.e. don't want him hanging with his friends).
Grown women realize that a little bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends!

Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that that was just one man.

Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.
Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, doesn't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

Post birthday

2007-10-26T08:31:00.000+08:00

Finally yesterday someone brought mi out...nelson! Thanks man..and he drove mi to my doorstep..
I seriously like being with him..his car so nice I feel so protected haha..
He not shuai..but got the charisma..hmm I think we better not cross the line..

Ok I shall list my list of wishes haha..thanks everyone!
(in order of sms)
1 Joe
2 Joy
3 Kelvin
4 Terrence
5 Angie (sweet la! She called mi from office.)
6 Jiemin
7 Raymond
8 Jess
9 Jun Ming
10 Huifen
11 Delia (she neva failed to sing mi a sms birthday song every yr) =)
12 Peishi (surprised!)
13 Laura (shocked!)
14 Loon (didn't expect him to remember)
15 Sebrina (she neva failed to send mi a sms every yr! Really sweet. Every yr bring a smile to mi.)
16 Adalene
17 Geraldine
18 Nelson
19 KaiJun
20 Geok fang
21 Bro (wah!!!! first time lo..call + sms..he grow up liao!!!)

21 people remembered mi. Ok la happy. Who supposed to wish mi but didnt? Irwin Liew!!!!
(caterpillar gang pls convey to him haha! =p)

birthday!

2007-10-25T09:21:00.000+08:00

Birthday! Birthday! (nothing to be excited about)
My programme for the day - hm, gym, office, hm.
Wah. Fun.
Lonely birthday. No present, no celebration.
Ok lor, also like that. (then why I grumble???? oopz sorry)

Hmm what other updates ar. I thought I got stuff to blog about then forgot. Sigh recently very short term memory.
1 Yesterday training until 11.30pm..Nelson Tan!!!
2 Bro don't wana bring mi go club lo. 2 persons..make it 1st time la.. (1st time I didn't reply his sms, cos he often did that to mi, I shall repay! wahahaha. The evil side of a scorpio. Don't mess with mi!!! Ha I'm timid de. =P)
3 Oh 1 more thing must say. Yesterday the co-broke agent played us out!! wth. Very angry 1 ler. Somemore he changed to earlier time and we had to rush out the documents and Jonathan had to take a cab. Today he better make it there punctually. Else I'm going to bite him!! wahaha

My new name!

2007-10-22T23:04:00.001+08:00

Yea! My new name is done!
So dearest peeps..my new chinese name is....JIA XUAN!
Lovely?
Hmm doesn't affect my JC/poly friends cos' they don't use my chinese name.
Those affected are relatives and sec friends.
Ray finds it so hard to accept. I guess it takes time.
So..those who are used to calling my chinese name..pls adapt to the new name soon.
Time to edit your hp contact. =)

1st roadshow

2007-10-21T22:16:00.000+08:00

1st roadshow today at amk blk 338.
Not fun at all lor.
Very hot, and so hard to do. (to mi)
Majority are old folks, don't take flyers.
Very few showed interest, and Martin still say roadshows are very effective.
The 2hrs crawled slowly. I dread the next session.

Spent some time with nelson, went with him to a closing in sengkang.
We talked so much in the car, and he is indeed different from what he is in the office.
The ride was smooth, was fantastic, and I got to know him alot more.
He's really a nice nice guy, can joke and get cheeky. Very nice to be with him.
Too bad he's married. Good guys are always taken la. Sad truth.

Ok, I saw how the closing of a rental is done. I still think not easy la, alot of things to say, to take note.
I'm afraid I might just be forgetful and missed out important details.

These 2 days

2007-10-20T23:04:00.000+08:00

Argh ok I just need to complain.
I bought a dragonfruit juice just now and it cost $3.10.
All it consist of is half a dragonfruit + water + ice.
WAH LAO! If I bought that half a piece of dragonfruit to eat, it would cost $1.50.
Can you tell me why there's such a big difference in price?! Just because its in dilute liquid form?

*********

Thursday went for my 1st Monthly Agent Night.
Fun!
Everyone is very friendly la. And some very jokers de. Nice being with them.
2 agents shared their experiences with us. Very motivated.
1 of them have a second viewing for a 7.2 million bungalow. Wah lao commission 2%.
Tell me tell me...how to stay put with status quo?!

Ok I'm supposed to tell everyone I'm an agent now.
So I shall broadcast it here.
Don't worry I won't harrass you. Just remember me if you have lobang for buying/selling/rental. =)

Friends vs celebrites

2007-10-17T08:50:00.000+08:00

Suddenly I realised I have friends who look like local celebrities.
One look like Pierre Png.
One look like Vincent Ng.
One look like Adam Chen.
Wah. I got shuai friends ler.
Guess I'm in love with which 1 haha.

Julian Hee

2007-10-16T22:34:00.001+08:00

Ah! JULIAN HEE!!!!!! (sorry for being hua chi) He just damn shuai can.
He'll be going for The Mission 4 show this sunday!
I wana go support him! (though I don't have nails)
http://ch8.mediacorptv.com/shows/variety/view/900/1/.html
I wana take pic with him! Omg I think I'll just melt if I saw him.
Who wana go with mi? But must be prepared for the long wait and my......hua chi.

Last min

2007-10-13T22:41:00.000+08:00

I really don't like last min things.
Last week no news. So I didn't assume there's any this week.
So I planned my day.
Then came the sms, tmr meet................
Stunned.
I'm not those who can have a change of plans steadily. Unless it was within what I want.
Not this.
Then how? Can I pretend nothing happen? Can I pretend I didn't receive the news on time?
I know its so bad of me. But she's last min. And I don't want to change my plans.
Call me inflexible.
How.............

Yesterday

2007-10-12T16:15:00.000+08:00

Yesterday's itinery:
home - raffles place - home.
home - woodlands - yew tee - bukit batok - jurong east - raffles place - dhoby ghaut - raffles place - home.
Wah lao.
A typical youngster. But not me.

Met steven. I shall talk bad abt him here! He won't see it. Wahaha.
This era got someone no msn de ler! And its a 21 years old youngster. (ah pek)
Think we won't meet again. He have alot of comments on my attire. (which I thought was ok)
And I just feel like punching him. I learnt kick boxing oso la, though he instructor, I can still fight with him!
Bleah. (to guang: see, these are the ppl I boo. =p)

Had a great time with fen. My baby. Hahahahahaha! =p
I like her, she like me. (I think so)

Predestinated

2007-10-10T13:41:00.001+08:00

Everything is predestinated.
When you didn't expect to happen, it happen.
Quite sad.
They were so compatible. I like them.
Still, we just have to accept isn't it.
Nevertheless I still love you sis! =)

(p/s: You'll see me here quite often, as I have no one to talk to and I need to talk. Moreover everyday at home.)

Jay chou

2007-10-10T09:54:00.001+08:00

Jay chou's new song so funny la!!
I practically laughed my head off!!

HATE

2007-10-09T22:44:00.001+08:00

Still hating myself. Hate. Hate. Hate.
I'm still very depressed.

Jasmine

2007-10-09T22:43:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday jasmine!
Love you lotz!

Another person

2007-10-08T23:28:00.000+08:00

My hair my hair my hair!! (ji dong)
Gone. Alot. Alot.
Don't like the awful tail. So cut!
And now its so short!!
I want my long hair.
Sob.

My name..my name..my name..
I'm gona change my name.
Excited. Full of anticipation.
We shall wait for the outcome.
Hope I'll have a nice name!
And hopefully a better life.
Bless me.

This

2007-10-05T08:11:00.000+08:00

Woo~ Last day of work.
Will definitely miss the children. NOT the staff. Nor the boss.
The 2nd experience.
Am I just suay? How come all work doesn't go smoothly. I don't want this for life.

*****

Horrible girls.
She go around telling YOUR secret. To think you trusted her. What the shit. And then got you into shit trouble. Plus the 'losing face'.
Then she said, 'Tell you something. Don't tell others, cos I neva tell. I want to divorce my husband le.'
And later you found out, she said the same thing to everyone. Everyone knew this, and she told everyone not to tell others.
!@#$%^&*()
She came to tell you how the boss scolded 1 of the staff.
'She got scolded so badly, boss scold her who do you think you are, I pay you $7/hr and when you want to leave you want immediate.'
Can believe her after the above experiences? So I went to clarify with the staff, quote her the above exact sentence, she said 'no ar, she never say this.'
SEE?! Can't believe this kinda person exist! And its not those middle aged big-mouthed gossipy aunties. A pure gentle looking 20+ lady.
I just shook my head. Totally. I will not befriend this kinda person.

Not as bad as the previous one. But I just don't like it la. The way she handle things, the way she talk, the way she chooses who she wana talk, to think we grew up together and were once very close. ONCE.
If you have the other half, you will surely recognise him/her right. When you go dating, would you say 'oh going out with friend.'
Maybe you'll say that to avoid questions.

Cab experience

2007-10-03T22:40:00.000+08:00

LALALALALA~
Ok I don't know what I'm feeling now.

Been taking quite a number of cabs recently.
Put aside the money spent. Just wana share the different kinds of uncles I met. Quite erm. Funny?

1 Most of the times I took from Raffles Place to Punggol. YA VERY FAR. YES VERY EXPENSIVE. Cos I lazy to get out of the house to the gym and this were the consequences. Anyway, this uncle. The usual route is by CTE, TPE. And entrance to CTE is from chinatown, which is the nearest. HE drove the other way, I was puzzled. But I thought maybe there was another route, this road idiot do not know. So happily we drove. And the surroundings got 'strange-er' and 'strange-er'. Then, I saw dhoby ghaut. And pass through the ERP! Peep! Wah lao!
Me: Uncle, where are we? I thought CTE from the chinatown there?
Uncle: Er. Em. Eh. From here also can. I cut through CTE from here, only need to go through 1 tunnel. From chinatown need to go through 3 tunnels.
Me: OK.
Actually wanted to take down plate number and complain. Uncle thought I 'small girl' don't know route sia, go 1 big round 'eat' my money. But. Forgot la! And wanted to refuse to pay the ERP charges, since this was not the 'by default' route and I guess he can't do anything if I don't want pay. But. Late la, no time to argue with him.
Ok case closed.

2 Hmm this uncle. Extremely, overwhelming polite!! He'll say thank you for every sentence he got you to say!
Me: Uncle, punggol. From chinatown CTE. (lesson learnt from previous experience. Must say exact route!)
Uncle: Ok. Xie xie. Aircon can? (wow!)
Driving on..............
Uncle: 1st exit or 2nd exit?
Me: 2nd exit. Ok Xie xie, dui bu qi ar.
Reaching....
Me: Uncle, in front turn right.
Uncle: Ok, xie xie.
Me: Uncle, turn right again.
Uncle: Ok, xie xie. Dui bu qi ar.
See! He apologise even when I told him the directions. I guess he felt bad, but he don't know the place mah. Make mi quite paiseh ler, feel like saying 'oh bu yong jing, bu yong jing'. But if I said this everytime he said like very funny.
Very nice experience to travel with this kinda uncle. Don't you think so? If only we met such uncles in a quarter of our cab experiences.

3 Ok. I'm going home in a cab.
Scene: From entrance to carpark to abt 300m shelter up ahead.
Maybe my destination was near (ie.fares quite cheap), for the 300m the uncle drove so SLOWLY I think bicycle should be able to win the race la. And the metre jumped another 10cents. WTH!
Not that 10cents is alot of money la. But taking in account how much I have spent on cabs already, I think 10cents must save also right. And in this case the 10cents is not necessary at all!

(Wah the first time I spent so long in an entry ler. And not my style to type 'essay'. Maybe just wana share the experiences. And don't feel like (or can't) sleep yet ler.)
Boo.

Fruit juice

2007-09-29T21:23:00.000+08:00

Had a cup of fruit juice just now.
At the 1st sip, I was thinking. Did they add sugar into the juice?
It was SUPER sweet! I don't think the sweetest fruit will be as sweet.
If they did, erm.
People opt for fruit juice because its healthier! And we are so willing to pay a much higher price compared to other drinks.
And they added sugar?! I just think they made it unhealthy.
Its ok if the juice isn't sweet you know.At least I don't mind.
I just want authentic juice.

Tattoo

2007-09-28T11:47:00.000+08:00

So feel like getting a tattoo.
Should I?
When will I have enough courage man.

Interesting question

2007-09-28T09:31:00.000+08:00

Here's a mathematical question in an email.
I took several attempts before I solved it.
Give it a try. And let me know your answer!

There are 7 girls in a bus.
Each girl has 7 bags.
Each bag has 7 big cats.
Each big cat has 7 small cats.
How many legs are there altogether? =)

Still confused

2007-09-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

Steven fly me aeroplane today. Again.
I don't wana trust him again.
See. Can I trust again?
I don't wana see the ugly side of. People.

I decided to send him 1 last msg.
He don't dare to face up. No reason for his actions.
Maybe I was lucky not to have accepted him in the past?

Trust and relationships don't come easy.
So I won't forget him easily too.
Though he's giving me the cold shoulder still.

Damn

2007-09-22T22:21:00.000+08:00

I just spoke to her.
So he cheated both of us.
HE'S A REAL BASTARD.
Both of us shall unite.
You this idiot.

Back! with lots of thoughts.

2007-09-22T21:42:00.000+08:00

Ok its time to make my blog alive again.
Partly because now I had a whole stomach of things to say..but got no media.
Going to burst.

Cheated.
By a colleague and a guy.
I hate it.
I hate you.
Both of you.
Get away from me.

On another note.

Happily blessed.
Tonight almost everyone I contacted was happily and lovingly attached.
When's my turn?

Oh. Going out with steven tmr. Hope it will turn out fun.

Excursion Day 1 - Pasir Ris park

2007-06-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

This is my 1st outing with the BAC children.
It was fun!
Major activity is our sand castle competition! And my group won! Yipee. They so creative lah. See the 1st sand castle pic is my group. That's our sea shells garden. (my suggestion) =)
Then we went to play the playground. So fun! I played a spiral equipment with the kids. So fun I keep screaming haha.
Looking forward to the next trip out.

You Tube

2007-06-02T14:29:00.000+08:00

SO FUNNY!!!!
Must watch!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wk51lfLfIQ&mode=related&search=

Learn to love

2007-05-30T14:01:00.000+08:00

Learn to love the challenges, and you will grow stronger.
Learn to love putting forth effort, and you'll find yourself becoming more capable and effective.
Learn to love making a positive contribution, and your life will grow richer.
Learn to love being around people who are different than you, and you'll gain many valuable new perspectives.
Learn to love discovering what you do not know, and your knowledge will greatly expand.
Learn to love truly listening, and your wisdom will increase.
Learn to love giving, and your life will be blessed.
Learn to love being thankful, and you'll know real abundance.
Learn to love the ordinary moments, and you'll find each day filled with warm golden treasures.
Learn to love simply being, and you'll rise to a whole new level of awareness.
Learn to love something about each day, and your days will bring rich fulfillment.
Learn to love, and you'll know how to live.

So long din blog

2007-05-26T16:23:00.000+08:00

Wah so long since I blogged.
Many things happened, now can only blog briefly. Details forgotten.

1 Me no longer working at pepperplus. Found a permanent job at childcare centre. If nothing goes wrong, will be working there till I return to school next year.

2 Found another job. Can't reveal yet. But its really MARVELLOUS. Nature of job, not excellent. Payout of job, EXCELLENT. People in the job, EXCELLENT. I simply love it.

3 Health not improving still. Recent updates of appointments. 14/06 - TTSH, 16/06 - KKH, 18/06 - KKH, 19/06 - SGH. -_-

Uninvited guests

2007-05-13T01:46:00.000+08:00

So they have saw me.
They have come thus far.
Some more than once.
Some I knew genuine care. Some maybe they care.
I am still trying to open my heart.
Its a rough patch of my life now.

At work

2007-05-13T01:45:00.000+08:00

Janice and Grace are nice people.

to her

2007-05-07T23:05:00.000+08:00

from another her:

and I am deemed as guo fen.
Well, well. How great.
Stay away from me lor. I'm just a stubborn piece of shit.

Joe bro

2007-05-07T00:17:00.001+08:00

He who don't love me.
Officially ended.

To her

2007-05-03T23:05:00.000+08:00

to her:

Who tell you there's hatred inside me? Who tell you I don't know it and don't learn it?
I tell you there's NO hatred inside me and I know it I learn it.
(p/s: what's there for me to hate?? Please enlighten me.)

I was hesitating when you said I was demanding, then followed by your reason for saying. I tell you you are wrong. Do I ask for people to please me? And who had pleased me? My parents? Anyone else? My parents love me so they please me. If not, do they just chuck me aside seeing me sad?
(p/s: Please enlighten me who else are pleasing me. I would like to know.)

It's so easy to say. But do you know what is an illness? Talk to a person who had hallucination, 'There's no one following you, can you just get over it. Always paranoid about this and that. Come on, lead a happy and normal life, you are just imagining things.' And that's it? The person will just get over everything and recover and lead a normal life like you said?

I was shocked and sad and angry for you saying these. Now I know how you have been thinking. About me. Thanks, I know I don't have your support to my recovery. There's nothing more to talk about anymore.

I am terribly hurt, by you.

Abt mum

2007-05-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

I hate it I hate it I hate it

Interesting quizzes

2007-04-21T02:39:00.000+08:00

http://www.shoppinglifestyle.com/quiz/happiness/
44.4% / Dissatisfied
Your score shows that you are generally dissatisfied with your life. Perhaps there are some aspects of your life that aren't going your way, or maybe it's that one key area (or two) that is facing a crisis such as a divorce or unemployment. But whatever the case, take heart in the knowledge that life is a bumpy ride, and most of the time things will eventually improve.
However, if feelings of dissatisfaction with your life persist and you find yourself underperforming and distracted by your unhappiness, then some changes might be in order. For example, try to have a more positive outlook on life or talk to a counsellor or friend.If you have an overly-competitive tendency, it's also important to refrain from pushing yourself too hard. Try to spend more time with your loved ones. And remember to set realistic goals for yourself because satisfaction will only come when the things you want are actually achievable.

http://www.shoppinglifestyle.com/quiz/depression/
What's Eating You: Clinical Depression
You are showing some of the classic symptoms of clinical depression. Also termed unipolar depression or major depression, this disorder can occur in episodes - once, twice, or more times in a lifetime. Individuals diagnosed with clinical depression have some or all of the symptoms below for a least 2 weeks to several months or longer:

Persistent sadness or anxiety for no practical reasons
Loss of interest in pleasurable activities (activities that were once enjoyed by the person).
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, hopelessness and pessimism.
Restlessness or excessive crying
Abnormal sleep patterns (insomnia or sleeping too much).
Fatigue, loss of enthusiam for life.
Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts.

Follow up

2007-04-17T01:01:00.000+08:00

Blood test. Again.
This young nurse seem inexperienced. It was so painful. With blue black.
But I like it.

P/s: I'm into disappearing act.

Helpless

2007-04-15T01:17:00.000+08:00

Feeling so frustrated and helpless la.
My cousin.
I don't know what I can do.
I don't want her to do this. Besides being very disgusting...can she stop hurting herself. I hate to see the pool of blood.

Birthday fortune

2007-04-14T00:10:00.001+08:00

Found this in the net. So true!
25
Your birth on the 25th day of the month (7 energy) modifies your life path by giving you some special interest in technical, scientific, or other complex and often hard to understand subjects. You may become something of a perfectionist and a stickler for details. Your thinking is logical and intuitive, rational and responsible. Your feelings may run deep, but you are not very likely to let them show. This birthday makes you a more private person, more introspective and perhaps more inflexible. In friendships you are very cautious and reserved. You are probably inventive, and given to unique approaches and solutions.
Its like..100% accurate man. Every statement.
So this is mi!!!!!
Check out http://web.singnet.com.sg/~ng888/birthday.html for yours!

Confused

2007-04-13T00:14:00.000+08:00

Hmm I've some things bottomed up inside me.
I want to talk to someone about it.
But who can I trust?
Who can I speak to about the topic comfortably?
I cannot even tell my parents.
Who. Who. Who.

Fond memories

2007-04-11T00:45:00.000+08:00

Wah so nice talking to Alzrin!! My long time best-est primary schoolmate.
He sat behind me.
Always there to hear my grumbles and complaints.
Without much words. Just his presence was enough.
I had a weird fetish back then.
I liked to pinch people when I was in a bad mood!
And. He was the one who always let me pinched!
Good eh. Where to find such a good friend.
The conversation was great! We chatted for hours.
I love it.
Cheerios my friend. We shall meet soon!

Trip to the zoo

2007-04-10T23:11:00.000+08:00

Right. Zoo. Everyone went to the zoo.
The people closest to me.
But I was not involved in the wonderful trip.
Thanks.
I don't want to go le.

ZOO

2007-04-09T22:40:00.000+08:00

Why is everyone going to the ZOO?!
Looks like there are new things there.
I ALSO WANT TO GO ZOO!!
Anyone can bring me go?

Msg from Mrs Yeo

2007-04-09T12:08:00.000+08:00

Crystal's mum just msged!
She passed her stn 4!!
I'm so happy lo. She took almost a year to master stn 4. Like everything cannot do.
I'm still wondering how she managed her submersion. I wana see. Is it my teaching helps? Or the relief teacher.
Still, so happy her mum bothered to inform me. At least I'm not forgotten haha.
Crystal's a girl whom I always made her cry. Cause I harsh la. She everything don't want to do, so I forced her. Haha. =p
But. She still misses me. Silly girl. Truely touched.

Last day

2007-04-09T00:26:00.000+08:00

Wow I did an incredible thing today.
But I shan't tell you to disgrace myself haha.
1st time I did this kinda stuff in my 22 years of life. I think it was just a chong dong.
I saw a handsome guy today. Really very shuai. Totally fits my ideal bf description haha.
Ok. Now for work update.
2 incidents happened today that made me go 'what the..?'
Firstly. Our bazzaar sales items are not for trying and so we did not set up mobile fitting rooms.
This lady, holding 2 pieces of clothings, asked me, "Can I go toilet and try?"
-_-??????? What do you think?
Next.
Customer: "Do you think this looks nice?"
Me: "Ya."
Customer: "How about that one?"
Me: "I think both looks nice."
Customer: "Really anot? Or are you saying this because you want me to buy the clothes?"
Me: "No la, this is not my company."
Customer: "Or you get paid? Got commission is it?"
Do you have the same reaction as me? Like '............................'.
I gave my views but she questioned the benefits behind it. And, I never heard before boutique shops got commission based. Not like roadshows.
Last note: I was glad that my legs doesn't hurt anymore. And it took a mere 1 week to get used to it. However when I reached home, only to realise my soles still hurt like mad!
Argh. Can't get to sleep well again tonight.

Thoughts in day 5

2007-04-07T09:52:00.000+08:00

1st quarter was busy. Replenishing stocks.
2nd half onwards was bad. Nothing to do. Time CRAWLS. Really.
Then I have time to daydream.
What went through in my mind?
- what was I usually doing at this time (every hr I thought) on a saturday? My students..
- and what am I doing here? Standing so miserably
- conclusion: I hate sales job.
- I WANT TO BE A ST!!!!!

Meaningful

2007-04-06T10:50:00.000+08:00

A kiss is just a kiss until you find the one you love.
A hug is just a hug until its from the one you are thinking of.
A dream is just a dream until you make it come true.
LOVE is just a word until its proven to you.

Omg they did it again!

2007-04-06T10:49:00.000+08:00

Bright green shirt with bright pink tie.
Can still watch morning express? Will just faint.

Faint

2007-04-05T22:51:00.000+08:00

Bright blue shirt with bright yellow tie.
Pink stripes shirt with dark green tie.
Omg.
What is mediacorp doing.

2nd day

2007-04-04T23:08:00.000+08:00

Really a bad one.
Anyway.
Met a nice uncle today!!!
Pardon mi.

First day of work

2007-04-03T23:31:00.000+08:00

12hours.
Broke my personal record of the longest hours of continuous standing.
My feet totally hurts like shit.
Below are what I saw (randomly):
- Pepperplus promotion items are for miniatures
- there are more slim people than plump people (s'pore sure do not have obesity problems)
- amongst the slim people majority have wonderful figures
- pretty mums (figures as good as or better than women who have not given birth)
- mums dote on their young ones to the max
- a few handsome guys (sadly all attached)
- pretty ladies almost everywhere
- why pretty gal want to be a lesbian?
- it felt so great to be called dear
- jewelery shops are always guarded by a 'shop guard' (duno whats the use)
- lee hwa jewelery has less than 10 customers a day (how to survive?!)
- poh heng jewelery has a lot of staffs and customers too (but their uniform kinda sucks?)
- some people don't go for cheap stuff
- male really looks weird handling female clothings

The end of the world

2007-04-03T23:27:00.000+08:00

Worst than what anyone can imagine.
Its getting nowhere.
Why is it irreversible?!
I want to stop here and no more.
I am determined to go back to the past.

Damn it!

2007-04-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

NOT ME AGAIN~!!!!!!!!!
Please allow me to
#$%^&*()(*&^%$#$%^&*(^%$#$%^&

I don't know..

2007-04-01T23:22:00.000+08:00

I've been seeing words like 'I'm feeling good today' , 'So happy' , 'I'm happy' etc.
Then suddenly crossed my mind.
These words are never in my dictionary.
I've never felt these way before.
Am I hard to please?
Am I not easily contented?
Or did I just not meet anything to make me happy?
I envy you, I believe anyone out there had been happy before.
I want to have this feeling too.
How do I get it back?
Its been what seems like a decade.

Latest news

2007-03-30T23:53:00.000+08:00

13 contestants.
1/13 chance.
How lucky will I be?!
Usually not me.
But I really wana go! With him I hope. Please.
We shall wait for monday.

Furama Villa and Spa

2007-03-29T22:59:00.000+08:00

Look.
I dream. I dream. I dream.
I wish. I wish. I wish.
I wana go.

Grandma 80th birthday

2007-03-25T23:28:00.000+08:00

I was so afraid.
But it turned out to be good.
1st time I enjoyed myself with these relatives. Everyone had been nice.
Below are some pics I took.
There's this ugly creature la! My cousin's friend had it imported from Thailand.
Last note: I wish my beloved grandma happy birthday! May she be healthy and happy always!
I love her.

Funny

2007-03-23T00:29:00.000+08:00

I don't know if you had seen this. But I find it darn funny. Laughed out loud when I saw it. What do you think?

Good and bad news

2007-03-21T00:09:00.000+08:00

Initially I was all excited to blog about something good.
Then just now I had to receive a call from Teacher Cindy.
Don't know its a good call or bad one.
She made me realized some things. Which is not good.
So. The bad news covered my enthusiasim for the good news.
Well, imbalanced mood. Nothing for now.

I'm sad. Can you feel it?

2007-03-16T23:18:00.001+08:00

Utterly extremely sad. What other word can I use instead of sad? I'm feeling more than the meaning of sad by thousands millions times.
I'm officially out of aps. Jobless. So where will my money come from? My expenses? My fees? I want to knock my head against the wall. I'm going to be soooooooooooo poor from now on.
Another thing thats also affecting me greatly. I miss my students. Esp Nikolas, Gabriel, Toby and Glenn. I cried for a moment. They are very dear to me, I hate to leave them.
I really love this job a lot. Thats why I've been holding on to it till now, 3 years. From the weekly long trainings under the sun, enduring the hot and cold weather, from the $7/hr pay to what I have now. Its a long journey, but I enjoy every moment. I love this job more than anything else in the world you know.
Now I have nothing. I feel like half of me is gone. Its a painful and heart piercing decision. Can anyone understand how I'm feeling now? The pain? The misery?
*sobbing in my heart*

The army

2007-03-14T23:38:00.000+08:00

Bro sent me a sms today, from taiwan. He told me that the place sucks, did not manage to get enough sleep, and the officers there did not give proper instructions so everyone was at a loss.
The officers should go for training la!!
Omg. Seems like its going to be a tough time there. I hope he can adapt to it soon, and situations will improve as time go by. After what he told me, I'll keep thinking how is he getting on there. Was he injured during the training? Did he eat and slp well? Sigh.
Hopefully they are unnecessary worries. Hope to hear some good news from him. Only 1 day had passed.

Today

2007-03-14T23:19:00.000+08:00

I did 2 things. Went to tan tock seng for scan. Must share with you.
It was the longest scan haha. When I came out, everyone had left. Mum was so worried she thought what had happened to me inside. She thought I had a painful experience.
In actual fact, I'm having a 'lesson' inside! Haha.
The lady who did the scan for me, think was still on-the-job training. So..she could not locate the organs accurately.
Then she asked for the doctor. I thought it was a practice to have the doc after the session. Yuan lai..she asked the doc to look at the photos she taken only! And she added, 'Don't have so much confidence in me hor'. I was like, so she also not very sure what she is taking!
And so the doc put that roller on me again, showed her this was the blah blah, there was the blah blah. 'You see the nerve? This is the............' That was how I spent an hour inside.
So many many things. The medical terms are so chim! How can the doctors, or anyone, be able to remember everything! I really really admire them man.
What I saw on the computer are all dark images. Mere shadows. How did they know thats the liver? Thats the particular nerve? Thats the gall bladder? Thats the kidney? Really amazing! I also wana learn haha. This profession is cool. P/s: I saw my kidney! Haha =p
Ok the second thing.
I went to square2. Have anyone went to that place yet? I only heard about it until I chanced upon it today, at novena. Must eat the waffle there!!!!!! Fantastic. There are a lot of boutiques and shoes shops, and the clothes are not bad. But I would say it's only nice to shop on the 1st visit. If go the 2nd time, nothing fantastic already.